You know, people say that you need to learn the lessons of history, or you will be doomed to repeat them. But, what is history? When Christopher Columbus arrived in the Americas, can you imagine the different ways the explorers and French Canary natives regarded one another? I find it fascinating that history, for the most part, was written by a bunch of rich people, for, basically, rich people. Statues, structures bearing names, historical eras populated by a bunch of rich turds. Some I liked, some I didn’t. Artists, commissioned to produce work…for rich turds. So when I see a Michelangelo sculpture, I imagine the noble layabout who commissioned it placing a mental notch on the turd bar, setting it a bit higher. So the architect could never build anything more splendid, Ivan the Terrible (turd) cut out his eyes. I would say that was a vulgar display of power. Perhaps that is the allure of art, the power of displaying something that creates a desired affect. The controlling idea behind the art, power even steals into the imagination of a people, lends shadow and grim immovability to certain forms, certain struggles.

For a long time, it was okay to teach our instructors that Columbus discovered America. They printed that bullshit. They printed the mother, and they ran with it. Columbus came for gold. He enslaved the population, and glorified himself in destroying and oppressing a people, destroying its culture, plundering its resources. This was/is a state holiday. Columbus thought he was going to India, then he acted like a turd, and lies. Am I getting this correct? So, let’s have a holiday for genocide, greed and ignorance. He had a cabin boy. Eww. Columbus would be living under a bridge in a pedophile tent city somewhere if he were alive today and not in prison.

The biggest dispute I read about concerning Columbus is whether or not he’s responsible for a deadly syphilis outbreak that killed well over nine people in Europe the mid-1490s. Seriously, the dude had some bad action.

Rich turds have presided over ruthless campaigns of resource suction since Ur ran out of hops. In the hopes of expanding its empire, Rome grew wide and thin, like a net, which became brittle and disintegrated. America is pretty much modeled after Rome, but it is our industrial turdage that assumes the role of courtesans for the Emperor of Murica.

The Emps all up in his silkage, little lobbyist imps crowding the halls, sending svengalis into the room to entertain the Highnessness. I imagine the Columbus story going into those doughy lobes. For centuries, our fool’s parade rolling in the mud of our own fetid ignorance, and so on.

I think it’s time for a change. There’s a zeitgeist in the air. Information is incredibly important. We want a correct history. But not HIS -story. Maybe not even HER-story.

Maybe it’s time for HERPEStory. Those who don’t learn the lesson of history are doomed to repeat it- that’s just like herpes.

I take umbrage to the turdage requiring me to honor a bloviated advertisement for power, for greed. I think it’s time to tell the truth about the cold sores of history.