My ten year quest to find a full-time day shift job continues. This place, SW Pennsylvania in a county called “Fayettenam” has been in recession for 80 years. There are lots of good people here who struggle as anywhere, but the corporations that “are people” have no arms to hold you. They have no vision to bind you. They have no respite from greed.
Coal left in the 1940s, then steel, then retail. The minimum wage is still $7.25 here. I can’t even make enough money to escape. I don’t write about what happens here often because people like me are going through a lot to survive here.
I was hired by Boeing in Washington state this time last year but the pay was lousy, so I couldn’t afford any housing on my paycheck alone. Couldn’t move. It just felt good to qualify for a real job with benefits.
My son was diagnosed with neurodivergent learning disabilities right after I got a grant to study drones at California University of Pennsylvania. I was offered a TA position with pay that couldn’t cover day care costs, so I turned down the TA position and lost my grant.
I learned that basically nepotism has replaced HR here. Everyone getting ahead here does so on a tribal level. As an outsider, this is what it looks like.
I started painting in earnest after graduation because I couldn’t afford a new RC transmitter or drone parts. Still can’t. I am a Taoist, so I just go with it.
Seeing the potential for asymmetric warfare with drones, I decided to stick to hobby stuff because loose lips sink ships, and the internet is just a big pair of loose lips. It seemed the responsible thing to do to stop posting about cool scientific pre-prints, take the heat off the front lines.
But then I remember I was going through this scitech renaissance under crazy Trump, and I remember how irresponsible he was as a leader, so I have to admit I moved to painting for more than just pragmatics of survival and longevity. It gave me a community I haven’t felt since in academia. I really never knew if I was serving our greater interests as human beings.
Being neurodivergent is lonely at times, so it’s good to have people with whom you can find happiness and purpose. There is basically no wealth accumulation for half of the people in this country. It’s so grim.
People are going to be crashing out of fields replaced by AI with this recession. In the Aughts they came for the blue collars because they were Too Big to Fail, now the white. Game over.
Weirdly, opportunities exist to funnel wealth back into environmentally sound business development, back into the arts, back into civic duties, back into the education.
It’s just never enough. It’s an afterthought, shitified like our throttled internet speeds. Trump is a convicted fraud and rapist, likely guilty of light treason. He is dangerous and cornered. There is only so much room under his bus, but if you want to take the fall for that stinking bag of guts, go ahead. May you live in interesting times.
People are making money off of either choice. Elections are just another industry here. We are the only developed industrial country without universal healthcare.
https://youtu.be/sLSveRGmpIE?feature=shared
Handing out shoe polish to barefoot children. I am writing for bots. I used to have a runner’s audience, but I cannot afford the hobby and have no peace of mind. Long-term stress is causing deformities of my spirit.
If I can find a full-time job, I could go back to writing books, back to running. I have three books in mind, in outline, but if I need to find work, writing is not a priority right now. Name a writer in your social circle. I dare you.
Fifty State Banana 