No Shave Yinzer 50 Mile Night Run – fundraiser

 
Joseph's Photo

A Simple Goal – This is about men’s health. All proceeds go to help men fight prostate and testicular cancer. This is for the guys! Goes to the American Cancer Society. Please donate. I’ve never run 50 miles before, but I know I can do it with your help. 

The Challenge –  This is the route I’m running:  It is a night run. I’m going to head out at about 9 pm Firday night and wrap about 7 am the following morning. The first eight miles are hilly, then a few flat miles, one more big hill, then flat, more or less, for the rest of the trip. So, half hell, half heaven. I’m running at night along roads. It’s risky. I am running through areas that take balls to run through. I’m glad to have ’em and I’m helping to fight for your balls or balls that you may know. Hell, I don’t judge; I’m fighting cancer, not society. So, I’m also fighting for the genitals of some major screw-ups and even some total jerks. Did you ever think about a donation to a charity positively affecting the health of a ruthless dictator? It really bothers me to think of evil people benefiting from charity, but isn’t that a small price to pay? After all, most people are pretty decent. 

But are they decent at running 50 miles with no crew along busy roads at night from the country to the city. No they are not, by and large. So, marvel at my agony. I want to kick the cancer right out of everyone’s junk. 

By the time I reach downtown, I’ll be frail and gimpy, and I’ll struggle to the Point State Park fountain in majestic downtown Pittsburgh, a conquerer of cancer, tired and jubilant. The dawn will be just breaking, and I’ll have my picture taken before majestic Heinz Field Stadium. 

The Love – I’d like to pass along a message of hope and solidarity to everyone in the path of a ravaging cancer. Together we can defeat cancer! Let’s raise some money for some treatment.

I mustashe you to keep up the fight.