July 20th marks the day of celebration and veneration of Wilgefortis, a form of Jesus born from weirdly interpreted medieval texts. Jesus with breasts, wearing a dress. That’s hot!

She is often shown with a fiddle at her feet, one shoe on, one shoe off. That’s weird. Now featured at Westminster Abbey. That place rocks! What’s the deal with fiddle playing? Was it that bad? Was the music pleasant, like a crucifixion.

The saint of Bearded Ladies? That lady’s on the moon!

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Wilgefortis at Westminster

 

I’m so glad there is a patron saint for bearded ladies who don’t want to take any shit. Also known as Virgo Fortis, or strong virgin, unencumbered, she is not taking your shit, the saint ennobles women who strive for equity.

Maybe originating from an icon purported to have been carved by something non-human, a wooden effigy of a saint called The Holy Face of Saint Lucca, Volto Santo of Lucca mentioned in Dante’s Inferno.

That statue apparently drove itself from Port to a church in an ox cart. So…patron saint of autonomous cars, too? See you in Serchio!

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Beard, fiddle, shoe weirdness, check. How often does that list pop up?

 

“Once ashore, the legend brings the image to Lucca in a cart pulled by oxen with no driver, in a further miraculous demonstration of the “rightness” of its possession by the city of Lucca, and having been deposited in the church of San Frediano, it is miraculously translated to the church of San Martino, which was interpreted as the rationale for choosing this church as the cathedral. Thus the possession of the image by Lucca rather than Luni, and its location in its rightful church, were both justified by legend” — Wikipedia

So the statue drove itself. It made its own gravy. Good times!

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